If You Hate Kevin Durant, Chances are You’re a Massive Pussy

Just because he didn’t stick around in OKC doesn’t mean he didn’t earn his way.

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So there I was, sitting there on my couch with popcorn and Sprite in hand, eagerly watching the crucial game 5 that eventually would eventually bring the Bay area its second NBA championship in three years and former MVP Kevin Durant his first. It was really a sight to behold.

Just kidding. I was fucking asleep. That shit was on at like 11 at night and I had stuff to do. Like sleep.

But when I woke up, I looked at my phone and saw “Golden State Warriors win their second NBA championship in three years, defeating the Cleveland Cavaliers 129-120 in Game 5” and I thought to myself, “Wow, to be able to watch two all-time greats in LeBron and KD is really something special.” (I mean, I watched games 1,2 and 3 but since they’re on so fucking late I unfortunately have to carefully monitor my greatness watching intake). I was happy that one of the filthiest players of all time finally captured his elusive title, as LeBron did back in 2011 when he beat Durant and that stacked OKC team. I had hoped beyond hope that this ring would at least curb some of the KD hate and finally, finally people would start to respect him just a little.

And then I went on instagram, and as I scrolled more and more through each horrendously worded comment, my frowny face got frownier and frownier.

“KD dumb idiot loser l0l XD” “KD a snake” “You’ll never be the best” “#Earnednotgiven” “Kevin Durant broke the NBA” “KD your so faggot lol haha”

It was like it went on forever. Instead of people finally shutting up about how much of a “snake” he is, it was like the hate had been multiplied by the combined IQ of every professor at an Ivy league university. It was mind boggling. “Why does it have to be like this?” I pondered to myself.

Oh, that’s right, I remembered, because people love to hate everyone great that isn’t named Michael fucking Jordan.

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And before I start gunning people and their shitty opinions down like the airport scene in The Matrix, I’m going to take a step back just to clarify my stance on this issue. If you just simply don’t like KD or don’t necessarily agree with his move, totally cool. Understandable. No one can be 100% popular. (And as he said that, he was brutally murdered in the comments by a horde of millions upon millions of middle school rec-league ball players, all exclaiming ‘But what About Michael Jordan?!?! He hit so many dunks and three pointers! He’s the goat! I watched all of his highlight reels on YouTube! I have his $300 sneakers! You’re so fucking gay!’)

But, that being said, if you say that you HATE Kevin Durant, that you absolutely despise him for stabbing the oh-so innocent Oklahoma City Thunder organization and butt-buddy for life Russell “Brodie” Westbrook (shittiest nickname of all time, by the way) in the back, then I have absolutely no respect for you as a person. I genuinely hope you get a super bad cold that lasts for the rest of your life. Either your logic or sense of basketball is incorrigibly flawed, or you’re too young or stupid or both to understand that the NBA is a business. And by the end of this article, You’ll be relieved that you can finally take off your skirt and makeup because you’ll have seen the truth. (If you physically do have a vagina, then you’re probably not reading this blog anyway)

To start, I’m going to list all the main points that people bring up when they say they hate Kevin Durant, and then explain in detail about how said reason is a bunch of horse doo doo. Let’s get started.

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1: Kevin Durant betrayed OKC. 

Now, this reason is by far the most childish and the one I see the most on social media (Other than the half-baked notion that he’s soft, which just isn’t fucking true, but more on that later) so i’m going to start off with this one.

The. National. Basketball. Association. Is. A. Fucking. Business. Period. That should be all on the matter right there, but alas, people need things broken down to them in simple words preferably less than three syllables. First of all, the Oklahoma City front office betrayed Kevin Durant, not the other way around. By trading James Harden, at that time the reigning Sixth Man of the Year and who is now currently a perennial face in the MVP ballots, to the Houston Rockets for, and remember, they actually thought this would pay off, Kevin Martin and Jeremy Lamb along with a second round pick. This isn’t a trade where people go “oh, well in hindsight it wasn’t the best idea” it was just a fucking dumb trade. And by going through with said trade, the front office basically said to Durant and everyone else, “well, we got to the finals, and that’s basically as far as we’re going to get so you guys can just sit here and jerk off or whatever for the next few seasons until you realize we don’t actually know fucking anything about how to do our jobs.” If I was a generational talent who was managed by a front office that probably just sits in their offices all day making pillow forts, I’d be out.

2: Kevin Durant betrayed Russell Westbrook.

Who fucking cares? If I had to play on the same team as Russ for 5 minutes, I’d be gone faster than the time it takes him to turn the ball over 12 times. Seriously, the guy is a fucking blockhead when it comes to making basketball decisions. Also, he kind of just looks like one in general. Dudes fashion sense suuuucks. Durant reportedly was angry with Westbrook’s style of play, and who can really blame him? Russell Westbrook is a self centered player who is unfit to lead and light years away from being a championship caliber player. (Middle schoolers: But wyan! Twiple dubble whole year! Bwodie the bestest! MVP!) ¬†Just look at the stats from this past NBA season. (Oh, and by the way, if you try to counter with Russell being a one-man team after Durant’s departure, you’re just proving my point that their front office is full of people who are the closest possible thing to being disabled without actually being disabled) According to ESPN, Westbrook led the NBA with 6 turnovers per game this season and has a 3.9 average for his entire career. Add the fact that his usage rate was an astonishing 41.7% per FOX Sports, well higher than the player in second on that list, DeMarcus Cousins, who’s usage rate was 36.3%. Not very efficient there, killer. top it off with the fact that he lead his team to a mediocre 47-35, earning a 6th seed and getting bounced in the first round, and his historic triple double season suddenly loses some of its shine.

3: KD didn’t earn his title.

35.2 points. 5.4 assists. 8.4 rebounds. Clutch shot in game three to essentially ice the series. And cap it off with a finals MVP. If that’s not earning something then fuck man, why does everyone try so hard at everything? Listen, just because he didn’t feel like sticking around in an organization and city that clearly lacked and continues to lack the desire to win (If you watched one minute of the Western Conference finals last year, or any other OKC playoff series ever for that matter, you know what I mean) doesn’t mean he didn’t earn his way. In fact, it shows that he’s willing to take the necessary steps to make his dream of winning a title a reality. And if you think he didn’t spend every day of his life from April to July working his ass off in the gym, getting shots up, practicing and polishing every piece of his game down to the finest detail in order to experience what he did last Tuesday; then you just don’t know what a true competitor looks like. Simple as that.

Oh, and while I’m at it, The 2008 Celtics (believe me fellas, it hurts me way more than it hurts you) signed 2 superstars, Garnett and Allen, to make their championship runs. The 2011 Heat signed Wade and Bosh, with Allen eventually joining as well and still counts as a big-time signing, despite Allen being in the twilight of his career. The 5 Lakers championships in the aughts came off the backs of Shaq, Gasol, and Odom. (Technically I could even put Kobe on this list, since he was traded to Los Angeles on draft night, but I’m a nice guy) Cleveland had to sign or trade for the vast majority of their 2016 championship team; Love, J.R., Iman, Timofey Mozgov (Hahahahaha fuck you LA), and Delly all were signed or traded for. But the Warriors? The big, bad, cheapskate Warriors? They only signed one superstar. The rest they drafted. And people give them this much shit. Think about that.

4: Kevin Durant made the NBA unfair.

Okay, this one is the one I hate the most. Kevin Durant did not break the fucking NBA. And nobody sums it up better than the man himself. In a story published by Sam Amick of USA Today, Durant gave his haters a piece of his mind, saying, “Like I’m the reason that fucking Orlando couldn’t make the playoffs for five, six years in a row? Am I the reason that Brooklyn gave all their picks to Boston? (I fucking love you, Danny Ainge) Like, am I the reason they’re not that good? I can’t play for every team, so the truth of the matter is I left one team. It’s one team that you probably thought would’ve been a contender. (They weren’t) One more team. I couldn’t have made the entire East better. I couldn’t have made everybody else in the West better.” And I couldn’t have said it better myself. Just because your team probably sucks isn’t Durant’s fault. Your team just sucks.

5: Kevin Durant is soft.

This one kinda just makes me laugh. If the stat line for your whole career reads 27.2/7.2/3.8, you’re not soft. You just aren’t. To survive and thrive in the NBA is extremely hard to do. This isn’t the late 80s and Bill Laimbeer retired decades ago. (sadly) The game has become softer. The age of jaw-breaking elbows and career-ending shooting fouls are mostly a thing of the past. You don’t need to be a Laimbeer or a Rodman to be a good ball player. You just have to have heart and skill. Something Durant arguably has as much of, if not more of than anyone who came before him and anyone who will come after.

Conclusion

So there you have it. The top 5 KD hate points have been put to bed. Hopefully now everyone will come to respect this scrawny motherfucker who loves his mom way too much. In the end, I just want people to realize before it’s too late that they’re hating on a once in a lifetime type talent instead of being in awe of him playing the game that he loves and worked so hard to be the best at. We spend way too much time giving people shit and putting players down for the things they do, and sometimes we don’t give them enough credit for what they did right. In short, Kevin Durant is not a bad person, or a pussy, or a softie, or a snake, or a bitch, or a backstabber, or a fraud.

For the first time in his life, he’s a winner.

 

 

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Author: Ryan Finnegan

Admin for First String Sports

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