Attention Knicks Fans: Your Franchise Doesn’t Give Two Fucks About You

The Knicks don’t actually give a fuck about winning or their fanbase. And it’s disgustingly obvious.


Since I was a little kid, I’ve basically been an avid supporter of every New York team. Giants, Yankees, Rangers, NYCFC, etc.

With one exception: I’m a die-hard Boston Celtics fan.

Now, there are a couple of reasons for this. Growing up, the C’s tandem of Garnett, Pierce and Allen dazzled and amazed my little mind to no end. Watching them win all in 2008 and seeing the look on KG’s face when he had finally won the trophy so many said he would never win was, to me, one of the moments that remind me why I love the game of basketball. (They would’ve won plenty more had their coach not been the most overrated and downright bad coach ever, by the way. Why does literally no one talk about that? Doc Rivers is a fuckin’ fool)


But I digress. I fell in love with the Celtics for their subtle-but-sharp style of play, the heart and pride that everyone in the Celtics organization oozes, and the overall winning mentality that permeates their entire franchise from the front office to the janitors and ball boys. But there’s one other VERY good reason for my allegiance to the green and white.

They Aren’t The Fucking Knicks. 

That’s probably the best reason for doing anything ever. I have as much hate in my heart for the Knicks organization as I do love for the Celtics organization. I have never liked the Knicks and there is an overwhelming possibility that I will carry that hate with my to my grave. I. Hate. The. Knicks.

Now, just to clarify, I’m mostly aiming my hate at the front office and Phil Jackson. Sure a good amount of their fans probably while away the hours racially abusing subway drivers on their way to their nine to five at the local Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., but I can’t really write an entire article about that. I actually have a friend who happens to be a Knicks fan, and he also happens to know a good deal what he’s talking about. And speaking to someone that doesn’t keep repeating “deadass” whenever I say the triangle is actually just a bunch of b.s. has allowed me to see what goes on in the minds of sensible Knicks fans. And it’s basically just what goes on in the mind of dumb Knicks fans, except they can actually articulate and identify the reason for their discontent, rather than exclaiming, “Phil Jackson is a fucking dumbass fucker!” every time Joakim Noah misses a free throw.

I was watching the NBA draft while texting in a group chat with said friend, and in the weeks leading up to that day, he (the friend) had wanted the Knicks to draft either NC State point guard Dennis Smith Jr. or sharpshooter Malik Monk out of the university of Kentucky. Either pick would have been more than solid. In fact, draft analysts had projected either of those two to go to the Knicks with the 8th overall pick in the draft anyway. So we watched Philly take Fultz and LA take Lonzo. Routine stuff so far. Then me and my other C’s buddies watched Boston made the safest (and best) pick and went with Duke 3 man Jayson Tatum. Then Jackson to Phoenix. Fox to Sac town. Still no cause for alarm. Isaac and Markkanen had been selected by Orlando and Chicago, respectively. And then the ol’ Knickerbockers were on the clock. My friend was worried that the Knicks would do something remarkably stupid like trade Porzingis or the pick for players or picks of lesser value; suspense was definitely in the air as the commissioner walked up to the podium, envelope in hand. The air was calm.

And then the commissioner Silver read the pick. And I could feel the earth tremble.

All at once, millions of voices cried out in terror, and then were suddenly silenced. (I’m a big Star Wars guy)

Needless to say, the pick was bad. It was Luke Walton as a player bad. Whenever you can’t pronounce the last name of your top draft pick without sounding like you’re developing some sort of early-onset speech impediment, you know it was the wrong move. In case you somehow didn’t know, the Knicks picked Frank Ntilinkia (I’ll bet my next paycheck Phil Jackson can’t pronounce that fuckin guys last name either) From France (Phil: “Dolan! DOLAN! Tony Parker is from there! Can we pleeeeease get him? Pleaseeeee? *Dolan: Phil, I’m at a concert. Don’t call me again. *Phil: But don’t you wanna decide who we should pi-*click*) with the 8th overall pick. My friend was beyond stunned. He couldn’t believe that his favorite team would take a raw, underdeveloped foreign player instead of a well-documented player like Smith Jr. or Monk.

But I could. Because they do it all the time. And that brings me to my next point.

Remember David Lee? He was a baller in the orange and blue. Always hustling for rebounds, posting nightly double-doubles; he was the quintessential blue-collar player. And then the Knicks decided they couldn’t pay his salary and let him go to Golden State. Wilson Chandler was a solid player in the Big Apple when he was shipped away in the Carmelo trade. Jamal Crawford averaged 18 points per game over his 5 seasons as a Knick and could have given Melo some much needed support. Nate Robinson and Zach Randolph also come to mind as players who made a significant impact in New York and then were let go. Even though you can’t really point to any of these players and say they could single-handedly make the Knicks better, you have to consider two things: 1. the state the team is in now, and 2. that some of these players were released or traded away in order for the Knicks to afford Amar’e Stoudemire’s ludicrous 5-year, $100 million dollar contract, which today is considered the worst contract in NBA history. With those two things and my previous point in mind, you can come to one very simple conclusion:

The Knicks don’t actually give a fuck about winning or their fanbase. And it’s disgustingly obvious.

Just look at the trades and signings they’ve made in recent years. Washed up players like Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah that are past their primes due to age or injury but still are big names. Who actually thought that trade would have any effect on the teams record whatsoever? Who thought signing an aging, injury prone big man who rode Steve Nash to relevance deserved a $100 million dollar contract?  Who thought the Melo trade would instantly put the Knicks in contention? I sure as hell didn’t buy into any of those.

This is why I can’t be a Knicks fan. They don’t sign players so they can win, they sign players to keep ticket sales up. Not being a doormat for the rest of the league has never once occurred to them because James Dolan still makes absurd amounts of money no matter what the teams record or where he is on draft night. (He and his blues band were playing a concert on draft night. Real shit.) And when it comes to Phil Jackson, he won’t be touched because he’s the perfect human shield for Dolan. Bad roster move? Traded Porzingis for Beno Udrih and a second-round pick? Hired Metta World Peace as head coach and signed him to a lifetime contract? Darn, that silly Phil Jackson is at it again. Nobody in the Knicks front office, especially James Dolan, wants him to leave because he makes the whole charade seem believable. They draft badly. They trade badly. They sign badly. They still make money. If the New York Knicks were an investment firm or an insurance company, the entire front office would be in jail for fraud. And that probably isn’t even an exaggeration.

So Knicks fans, the next time Phil Jackson does something you’d only think possible of a 10 year old playing MyGm on NBA 2k17, don’t be surprised. Just know that the Knicks and James Dolan are a scam, and you’re a part of it.

Oh, and while you’re at it, find a new team.